The Story of my Life

It’s been a long time since Kyri was last upset with me.. I was looking forward to it never happening again.. I wasn’t looking forward to her yelling at me.. much less telling me to go away…

I understand why she’s upset with me.. but.. It’s not quite fair..

She’s upset about my last blog post, written right after she broke up with me; how, after three days and my being so excited that I was finally back together with her; she left me.. she’s upset because I didn’t tell “everything”… and because I was afraid that she’d move on without me..

She’s next to ignoring me now because of it…

On a related note.. I hadn’t updated my blog with the fact that we’ve pledged ourselves to each other; and that we’re going to wait for each other now..

I love her.. I truly do.. but its unbearable when she’s upset..

The following email was sent in reply to the email of a Cabrini College advisor (in addition to the 59 people he publically CCed):

Sir, I do not have SAT scores, and my GPA and Class Rank is poor; I doubt I’d get into Cabrini.

However, I am knowledgeable enough to know that what you’ve just done is a huge security risk all on its own.

I am only replying in regard to that security risk.

When you emailed me, you CC or "Carbon Copied" all of the individuals that have been CC’ed in this message.  Because of that security risk; you have released the possibly private email addresses of 60 applicants to Cabrini College; that because of your message and my own status; I know have not submitted their transcripts and/or SAT scores.

We classify what you’ve done here as a "huge faux-pas", and I would suggest taking corrective measures so that it does not happen again in the future.

You should instead of CC’ing everyone you are sending a mailing to, BCC (or "Blind Carbon Copy") them, so that their email addresses do not appear to everyone you have sent the message to.

Please, make sure that your co-workers and IT professional’s also follow this standard followed by many organizations and websites, it is of utmost importance to provide security to the future students of Cabrini College.

- Navarr Tethyr Barnier

- navarr@gtaero.net

- 17 year old Senior at Klein Collins High School, Texas

- Computer Programmer and Web Developer

- "White Hacker"

- http://gtaero.net/

- http://tech.gtaero.net/

- http://blog.gtaero.net/

(cross post from http://tech.gtaero.net/)

Because of my World Geography class last year when i took the time to come in when I was late the office would say i was absent for first period for being too late. Now, I can’t even get my Verification of Enrollment to take my in-car. I fucking have this state and the rules of the DPS. If i’m not absent before the end of the semester, I’ll be able to take in-car during winter and early spring. This sucks so badly. TT.TT

It only took three days.. but she’s already broken up with me.. she tells me I deserve someone who can give me more time.. she tells me that she can’t be in a relationship.. that it’ll just hurt us both…

I really wanted to be with her… We’ve been so close for so long.. and I promised myself, that when I went back to her I wouldn’t date anyone else, because I knew what I was doing was stupid; always trying to go out with someone else because she’d never go back out with me, that I’d wait for her..

Then last week, she told me she wanted to be with me.. that her heart belonged to me.. and I was so happy.. Christine broke up with me.. and I was finally back with Kyri.. I finally had my second chance to make everything right again, and I was so happy to be hers.. I cuddled my teddy at night, smiling, wishing it was her, and I was so happy like that..

And today… she ends it, already.  She gives up on me.. she leaves me.. just like that…

I told her, and I mean it, my heart belongs to hers and nobody else.  I will not loan out my heart again, and I can only hope she feels the same..

I told her that when she can be in a relationship.. to please let it be with me.. but considering she’s always spending time with a guy that likes her.. I doubt it will be me.. she’s probably already moving on and leaving me behind, I’m nothing but a friend to her now.. Everything we’ve been doing for the last few years is going away, and we’re nothing but friends now.. because she doesn’t have a commitment to spend any time with friends, but if she’s with me, she feels obligated to spend time with me..

She couldn’t possibly understand how much this hurts me.. to finally be so close.. to finally be hers.. and then to just be pushed away, rejected, and told I’m nothing more but a friend anymore.. to be told that everything we’d been doing, we won’t be doing anymore..

I’ll be waiting for her.. and my only fear is now, that she’ll just move on without me, and go out with some other guy close to her.. that wouldn’t be fair.. I hope that’s not what happens.. but I’m nothing more than a friend.. so what should it matter.. she could always tell me its none of my business…

I don’t think I’ll be going to school on Monday…

Either I’m getting better at Japanese, or my Japanese is extremely broken, as evident by one of my latest twitter posts:

Navarr 今は午前一時三分です。とても眠いから、寝る。おやすみなさい～

What I was, at the very least, attempting to say was: "It’s 1:03 am. I’m very sleepy, so I’m off to bed. Good Night~”

So.. am I getting better, worse, and how broken do you think I speak?

I recently purchased a new book from TheJapanShop or whatever the URL was.

”The 2004-2006 Japanese Language Proficiency Test Level 4 Questions and Correct Answers” or 「日本語能力試験試験問題と正解」.  It’s a study guide for the JLPT Level 4 Exam based on the questions from the 2004-2006 tests.

I don’t plan to take the JLPT anytime soon, but I feel like it will be a great thing to have in the future.  I do eventually hope to be fluent in Japanese.

I love the new look that I have here.  Absolutely, ridiculously love it.  The colors of green go together nicely, the music player and photo slideshow are the perfect shape.  This whole page is just absolutely perfect, don’t you think?

I plan to be posting and typing and such a lot more then I used to.  And of course, if you ever want up to the second information on what’s up, I normally post that kind of stuff to my twitter account.

It’s been awhile since we’ve spoken, hasn’t it?  That and the fact that I’m clearing my life of all those horrible relationships gone awry.

Yes, I’m aware that they’ve helped make me who I am today, and I’m aware of their importance; but my removal of them, and the deletion of the pictures of the girls; shows that I’m moving beyond those people of whom I once cared for, and I’m moving on with my life, in search of something better.

After breaking up with Christine, I’ve already moved to another relationship.  One that most of my friends see no surprise in, and have been expecting for nearly two years now.

Kyriaelison and I are dating again.

It’s been nearly three years since the first time we tried; and it was my manly stupidity back then that fucked it up for both of us.  I’m hoping this time, I won’t fuck it up; and maybe we can have a really long-lasting relationship.