The Story of my Life

Well, once all of that was over, we had a lovely night talking together on the phone.  I doubt I’ll hear much from her during spring break,but I hope she enjoys herself ♥

So, first off for our nice little list is that Lent started.  Thats been nothing but a gigantic bunch of fun.  Well, at first anyway.  It started off with not being able to talk to her much if at all, since she had decided to give up Instant Messenging and SMS – but she quickly broke IM, and then SMS before deciding that she was giving those things up for the wrong reason.  Now the only thing she’s giving up for lent is Facebook, and I’m happy and snuggly with my baby again, lol.

Of course, things always like to have the worst possible timing don’t they?  Greg decided to call her the other night, and he did nothing but upset her.  She wants to hate him, but she can’t, but he does bother her to no end.  He’s going to be back in her town (his home town) all summer long, and that makes me nothing but nervous after what happened in December.  Kyri and I have talked a lot about it though, and there should be nothing for me to worry about.  On top of that, Kyri says that when I visit her this summer she’s going to introduce me to him, and that after that he’ll leave her alone for good as per some pre-arranged agreement between the two…

So then there’s smoking.  This isn’t such a big thing, mostly because nothing has happened.  We were talking today and she asked me how upset at her I’d be if she started smoking socially (as opposed to smoking to relieve stress like she was last year).  I’m not entirely sure why, but my entire body basically became rigid.  I hate smoking… It’s unattractive, its bad for you, and I just don’t like it, so I told her the truth – “More than you can fathom.”  I don’t understand why I’d hate it so much, but I would.  I’d be so very upset with her for some reason, despite how much I love her.  Meh, she said it was okay for me to not want her to smoke, and from the way our conversation went, I don’t think she’s going to.

Meh, what a pain this has become.  We started off lent happilly, actually.  Even though we wouldn’t be able to talk to each other as much as we had been – we were still going to talk as much as we could on the phone.  Then Greg happened and I’ve been in worry-mode ever since.  I just can’t relax when I have to think about the type of thin ice I’m on every time he’s around…  Kyri doesn’t think I should worry, so I probably don’t have anything to worry about anymore.  I know she loves me with all of her heart, and would never betray or cheat on me, so I should really just calm down and show her how much I love her, shouldn’t I? ♥

So, I bring you her words from December 1, 2008.

Navarr… *giggles* i can’t even explain how girly and in love I feel. Is it possible to feel like you can soar above the stars and moon, but you don’t want to, because to do so would be leaving his arms? I was so foolish the other night, to honestly think I could leave him. And I’m so wonderfully happy that I didn’t. We talked last night. for a long while, and even though it kept me awake, it felt so nice to just be with him again. Sometimes I wish i could just drive down there, or have him come up here, but we can’t have everything we wish for sadly. Hopefully one day in the near future…

There is nothing more special than when the spark you thought you’d lost returns to your relationship, and your love again flourishes as it only could when experiencing passionate love.

There is also nothing scarier than worrying about whether or not it’ll return for her, worrying about loosing the love of your life because that feeling of mutual love and trust and passionate, the very essence of romance vanishes.

But thankfully, it doesn’t look like I’ll have to worry about that anymore.  Not for a while, at least.

I don’t know how or if this affects her wanting to be single for this semester or not (probably not, she still needs to figure things out, I believe) but it does mean that things are slowly returning to normal.  Something that is definitely much needed between us, after this whole mess.

As Yuki said, if we could get through this, we can get through everything.

Maybe I can still make her my bride, one day? :p

So we broke up declared the events of that day never happened.

We’re quite happy now.

Also, I’m thinking of moving to Toledo.  Maybe within a year, if possible?

What do you think?

It has been awhile since I wrote about how I feel for Her, hasn’t it?  I’m wondering if I ever stopped feeling for her or if I was just using pine branches to sweep my emotions out of view?  I don’t think such things are within my grasp to understand or acknowledge, but I know I never fell out of love with Her.

We’re together again, if you can call it that.  It’s more of an information agreement that we’re for each other.  We probably won’t ever be official again until we can actually live together or near each other somehow.  That bothers me a little.  I’m no stranger to dedicating myself to someone, but I don’t like running in with only a vague sense of what our relationship will become, you know?  But back on topic:  I’m still in love with her, and from how she acts and what she’s been saying to me, she’s in love with me too.

I’ve been told that the third time is a charm; and I hope to goodness it is.  No more searching for me, almost every day with her has been happy, we’ve only had one argument and we made up very quickly.  Everything is going wonderfully.  How long will it last?  I hope forever.

She’s also been really considerate of the way I feel too, lately.  She’s been really kind to me, and she knows that I don’t like the concept of me not being real to her or part of her life, and she definitely points out that its not that way when it could be a misunderstanding.  I think, or hope at least, that we’ve really grown to understand each other’s feelings and mindset, and its the most wonderful feeling in the world.

I’ll have to write more later, other than that this post of love and merriment my mind is blank.  Hope to talk to you soon, though!

And yes, in a Japanese Accent アマンダちゃん!

I met a WONDERFUL friend today~ She was so easy to relate and to talk to that as a joke after talking to her for a few minutes I IMed Yuki and said “I think I just found my soul mate!”  Lol.  All in Jest Though.

But yeah, We’ve quickly become friends and we’ve talked about a lot!  We’re both “engaged” though her more officially than I, I think, lol.

It’s nice to make a new friend that’s easy to talk to and be friendly with.

So, I unfortunately had to set a new goal, even though I’m no longer going to BGSU, it now appears that I will need at least a bachelor’s degree (Visa Purposes when moving to Japan, when and if.)

I have a few other goals:

• Learn Kyudou.
• Learn Karate (maybe?)
• Learn Japanese, duh!
• Finish PoKéQuesT

Things are looking decent for Tuesday.  I’m hoping that the last seats available from Houston (IAH) to Miami (MIA) in way of Charlotte (CLT) are not booked (DON’T BOOK THEM) so that I can make it there safely without much trouble.  I’m hoping it won’t be too much trouble getting back to Houston (it shouldn’t be.)  I know already though, that it’s going to be such sweet sorrow parting.

As for happier news, I have been working on turled.com a LOT lately.  The new layout’s Open Beta is really coming together.  Unfortunately though, it will stay in Open Beta until I finish the code overhaul I’m working on for the Brand New turled.com, including a much needed caché system, OAuth for attachments like Flickr, BlipFM, and YouTube, and maybe a better stats system?  I guess we’ll just have to see.  Should I add TwitPic as well?

I wonder how things will work out?

It’s not really, but I wanted to write about it, store it in memory, and share what’s going on between Kyri and I right now:

The happiest hardship of our entire relationship.

I guess, if you really wanted to, you could call it a social experiment.  It really ties into her religious views as a Christian.  I’m not going to delve too deeply into it, but I am going to scratch the surface.

For Lent, Kyri has given up Texting and the Internet (for all uses other than school).

Even though I don’t consider our relationship to be an “internet relationship,” this is still quite difficult on both of us.  Why is that?  The internet and SMS are our primary means of communication.

We’ve spoken via phone twice, and SMS twice since then.

It’s only been a week, and it feels like an eternity.

Granted, there are plenty of times where we don’t talk much if at all for a day or two, but when I can’t talk to her for a day, or two, or three and knowing that I don’t know when I’ll hear from her until halfway through April; Forever was an hour ago.

I’ve told her that if either of us ever live together and have to go on business trips or something, we’re not allowed to not talk to each other because if we do; I’ll end up smothering her when she gets back.

Wonderful! Oh, it’s wonderful
To be in love with you.
Beautiful! You’re so beautiful,
You haunt me all day through.

Every little breeze seems to whisper "Kyri~"
Birds in the trees seem to twitter "Kyri~"
Each little rose
Tells me it knows I love you, love you.

Every little beat that I feel in my heart,
Seems to repeat, What I felt from the start,
Each little sigh
Tells me that I adore you, Kyri~

Just to see and hear you
Brings joy I never knew.
But to be so near you,
Thrills me through and through.

Anyone can see why I wanted your kiss,
It had to be But the wonder is this:
Can it be true,
Someone like you Could love me, Kyri~?

Every little breeze seems to whisper "Kyri~"
Birds in the trees seem to twitter "Kyri~"
Each little rose
Tells me it knows I love you, love you.

Every little beat that I feel in my heart,
Seems to repeat, What I felt from the start,
Each little sigh
Tells me that I adore you, Kyri~

Just to see and hear you
Brings joy I never knew.
But to be so near you,
Thrills me through and through.

Anyone can see why I wanted your kiss,
It had to be But the wonder is this:
Can it be true,
Someone like you Could love me, Kyri~?